Instead of: “You’ve got such a positive attitude!”
Try: “When you smile and greet each of your co-workers when you arrive at work, I get the message that you enjoy working here and it definitely contributes to the positive energy we want to have here. Thanks! Please keep it up.”

Instead of: “You’ve got to change that negative attitude!”
Try: “If you cross your arms and roll your eyes when a customer asks you a question, I believe it sends the message that they shouldn’t have interrupted you. Since we want our customers to feel free to ask us questions, I expect you to respond to customer questions with a smile. Will you do that?”

Pick three attitudes from each list that you see regularly in your staff.

For each of those attitudes, write a list of behaviors that you associate with the attitude.

Document your expectations with regard to each behavior.

Example:
Positive attitudes: team player, leader, service-oriented
Negative attitudes: victim, lazy, drama queen/king

Team Player Behaviors

• Shows up on time
• Follows proper procedures for sick calls
• Greets co-workers and guests with a smile
• Completes agreed-upon assignments
• Volunteers to take care of less desirable tasks
• Asks co-workers if they need help and pitches in when needed
• Cleans up after self in break room and employee rest room

Drama Queen/King Behaviors

• Crosses arms, rolls eyes and sighs loudly when someone else is talking
• Complains to customers and co-workers
• Talks negatively about customers and co-workers when they are not present
• Starts or spreads rumors and speculation

When we say – or hear – any the phrases above, most of us get a pretty clear image in our minds. We can tell a “bad” attitude from a “positive” attitude with our eyes closed, right? So why is it so hard to explain to the offending staff person what we want them to do differently?

Merriam Webster defines “attitude” as “a mental position with regard to a fact or state.” Hmmm. I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked I wasn’t as good at reading people’s minds as I’d like to think I am. And when we assign attitudes to people, we’re basically saying we can read their minds, and we have no real data to use when they disagree with us about what they’re thinking/feeling.

Which is not to say that we’re wrong to be unhappy with such behavior. But THAT’S where we need to focus – on the behavior, not on the attitude. Back to my friend the dictionary, which defines “behavior” as “the manner of conducting oneself.” You don’t have to be a mind reader to identify a behavior. Behaviors are observable and, thus, measurable.

If we focus on identifying the behaviors that lead us to believe someone has a particular attitude, set clear expectations on the behaviors we do and do not want to see on the job and then measure whether or not those behaviors are occurring, we have effective management tools.

For example, what are the behaviors that would lead you to label someone as unreliable? Well, they might include: regularly showing up late for work, occasionally missing a shift, not completing assigned work, leaving work without checking out with a supervisor. Instead of saying, “to keep working here, you need to be more reliable,” you can say, “here’s what I need from you if you want to keep working here: punched in and at your work station by the scheduled time, no missed shifts, all tasks on the to-do list completed before the end of the shift and your to-do list signed off by a supervisor before you punch out.”

Focusing on behaviors instead of attitudes is one of those things that I know is important but that I need to remind myself about from time to time – and I find that is true for many managers. It’s just so quick and easy to lump the behaviors together under an all-purpose attitude that I fall into doing that. But it isn’t actually quick and easy in the long run – in fact it can delay focusing on changing the behaviors that are the real problem.